~

just when i feel that i should be optimistic.
just when i feel that i should start picking myself up.
just when i feel that i should be the same cindy that they used to know.
just when i feel that i should tell myself, "alright cindy, let's jiayou and work hard. no more negative thoughts."
just when i told myself, everything's gonna be alright.
just when i was enjoying my days.

it all crashing down.

seriously, i miss the old cindy that used to say,

"PLAY HARD AND STUDY HARD"

she used to have the ability to do that.
but now, look at the state that she's in?!
miserable pathetic fucking state.

i miss the old cindy that would never says that

"she's useless"

i miss the old cindy that she would never ever cry for her own studies.

i miss the old cindy that she has the strength to pull herself up even when she fail.

now, she's saying that she's a fucking useless person, and she is.
now, she's crying over her fucking studies.
now, she's afraid of failures.

history, it's too painful for her to accept that it's gonna repeat.

optimistic?
oh. can cindy really bring back herself?

maybe she's already got the answer to that question.

i really wanted to pick up the mess i've made.
but once those thoughts came into my mind.
i just cant do it.

it just fits the "you xin er li bu zhu"
you got the heart to do something but you don't have the ability.

in another words, i could say, i'm useless.

every fucking things prove that i'm USELESS.
FUCK!

cindyyy

ctss
tp. htm. bsc.

try bribing her with
ice cream! (:

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